Wu Men Jiǒng Shì (The Crazy Adventures of Wu Gate) 午门囧事 by 影照 Ying Zhao

Audiobook: [ximalaya] [ximalaya]
Total Audiobook Segments: 97 (full), 25 (radio drama)
Translated: [novelupdates]

Book Introduction (from Novel Updates)

T/N: In Chinese, the 穿 in time travel is the same character as the 穿 in wear clothes.

“Why must I travel back in time (穿越 chuan yue)?” – Qing Qiao

“Because… If you don’t wear clothes (穿 chuan)… You’ll catch a cold…” – Qing Qiao’s servant girl, Dong Xi.

If you once thought this was a time traveling novel…

What is a Benz? Beautiful men step aside. As a knowledgable woman who has gone through higher education, how can I tolerate a backward life without a computer, without chocolate, without a flushing toilet bowl? No matter what I must return back to the future! Thus started, Gu Qing Qiao’s silly ridiculous legend, a side-splittingly funny case that started with one bowl of roast pork rice.

But sadly, we may have guessed the start, but we weren’t able to guess the end…

Characters

  • Gu Qing Qiao (顾清乔), FL. Also known as Du Chun Jiao, nanny to the crown prince and Gan Xiao Qiao while she was in Xing Ling Mountain. Gu Qing Qiao loves to eat, especially pork. She has a special liking for the braised pork made by her family’s chef. While she was hiding in the kitchen eating braised pork, she met Duan Yu, the Wang Ye who came to visit her house. FL has a plum blossom birthmark which was rumored to be a symbol of the previous dynasty’s royal family descendant. Because of this birthmark, FL was later thrown into jail and named as a traitor of the current country (Duan Yu throws her into jail). Lu Zi Zheng helps FL escape. After her escape from the imperial city, FL continues her mission on finding the four sacred objects which would let her return to the modern world. She ends up at Xing Ling Mountain where she changes her name to Gan Xiao Qiao and becomes the 19th disciple of Xiling Sect. She suspects the “Qing Mu Ren Xing Jian (Sword)” can be found here. After several twist and turns, FL finally met the legendary master of Xiling sect, Ruan Shi Qiong. The two makes an agreement to work together to find the sword. After a series of murder investigations, Ruan Shi Qiong helps FL make a deal with his master – as long as she can pull out the sword, she can borrow it. FL manages to pull out the sword, not knowing Ruan Shi Qiong will need to give up his life for her to be able to use it. He does so and she leaves the mountain without knowing this truth. FL was taken back to the imperial palace where she once again becomes Du Chun Jiao – nanny to the crown prince. Duan Yu gives her away to the country’s mage(?) who was actually Lu Zi Zhen. The crown prince get’s poisoned and Lu Zi Zhen under the guise of “Guo Shi (mage)” and the FL “saves” the prince. To thank them, the prince loans Ding Ling (one of the four sacred objects) to the two. FL then takes the 3 sacred objects she has to find the fourth object – which turns out to be the gate itself. During the last leg of the journey, all truth was revealed. Lu Zi Zhen was actually the descendant of the previous dynasty. From the beginning, Lu Zi Zhen knew that FL wanted to collect the four objects so he deliberately approached her and set her up so she can collect the objects for him to restore his country. When the gate was finally opened, one of the four God’s that guarded the gate was actually Ruan Shi Qiong (after he merged with the sword spirit). He denied Lu Zi Zhen his wish and granted FL’s wish to return to the modern world. FL left with Ruan Shi Qiong without looking back. At the end, it was revealed that the plum blossom birthmark was a symbol given to the female that was intended to become the queen to the King of the previous dynasty – aka Lu Zi Zhen’s intended wife.
  • Lu Zi Zhen (陆子筝), ML 1. Was saved by Gu Qing Qiao 3 years ago. He was the first “handsome guy” to appear in Xiao Qiao’s life. He likes to eat animal necks and make Xiao Qiao hunt for them. He is narcissistic and likes to bully FL and tries his best to make Xiao Qiao praise his beauty. At the beginning of the book (present time), Lu Zi Zhen repays Xiao Qiao by giving her one of the four sacred magical objects (the bracelet) that can help Xiao Qiao return to her world. As the story progresses, it is revealed that he has many identities. The main one being the descendant of the previous dynasty. He has the wolf symbol on his body.
  • Duan Yu (段玉), ML 2. A Wang Ye, brother to the current emperor. FL’s official fiance. After Xiao Qiao mistakes one of his secret body guard as the famous “Qiao Feng” – a fictional character in the modern world, Duan Yu start’s suspecting the FL, thinking she is a descendant of the previous dynasty. After sorting out a misunderstanding, Duan Yu tries to appease Xiao Qiao by promising he would bring her to the palace and she can choose any one thing she likes. What Xiao Qiao wants is one of the four sacred magical objects that is held onto by the Royal family – Ding Ling. This unfortunately makes Duan Yu suspect her more as he thinks she wants to collect all the objects so she can make a wish to return the former dynasty back to its glory. At the end of the story, Duan Yu is the one that regrets it the most. He never marries and always visits the places the FL once lived in, hoping one day she will return.
  • Ruan Shi Qiong (阮似穹), ML 3. The legendary master of Xiling Sect. He is the Senior Uncle of FL – FL is the disciple of the senior brother of Ruan Shi Qiong. Ruan Shi Qiong is mature and steady. When he was younger, he made a deal with the sacred sword – for him to have great power but in return, he must give up his life when the true owner of the sword appears. He owns to birds, he named one after the first person he killed and named the other one after FL – the person that will kill him. He later gifts the pair to FL when she leaves the mountain. Even though he was the last to appear in FL’s life, he is the one that ends up with the FL in the modern world.
  • Duan Shao Yi (段邵义), Duan Yu’s nephew, current crown prince. FL becomes the crown prince’s nanny. He comes to life the FL and hopes for her to stay by his side under a false identity. Idolises his uncle Duan Yu.
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